Fuck what you have
heard or what you have seen in your son.
He may lie about homework and laugh when the teacher calls home. He may curse his teacher, propose arson for
the whole public system. But inside is
the same sense that was in me. None of
us ever want to fail. None of us want to
be unworthy, to not measure up.
Ta-Nehisi Coates became famous for his second book, Between the World and Me, a letter about
being a black man in America that he wrote to his son. This is his first book, a memoir about
becoming a black man in America and under the tutelage of his own father. In it, he is bracingly honest about his
father, himself and his family in prose that is never less than compelling and
beautiful.
A map of Baltimore with various sites and neighborhoods
marked and a Coates family tree with Ta-Nehisi’s grandparents, parents, his
father’s three other wives and his 7 siblings and half siblings precede the
text. It is as if Coates is locating
this story as much in the specific and the particular as possible, even while
he is constantly reaching for the universal.
He captures the angst and pain of middle school, the challenges of
figuring out adulthood, the struggles that occur between teens and parents,
with insights that virtually anyone over 20 can relate to without every
watering down his account of a very specific set of family, gender and race
issues that are specific to black men and ultimately to Ta-Nehisi alone.
While it is clear his father is his hero, Coates is clear
about that hero’s behavior, his style of discipline and his failings as a
family man. William Coates was a
dedicated member of the Black Panther party and the relationship between his
politics and his ideas of parenthood are discussed in detail. Ta-Nehisi’s own politics are clear, and he
gives his father much of the credit for teaching him to see the world through a
radical lens. Coates is equally clear
about his decision to see women and children differently than his father
did.
Some of the later chapters feel like an advertisement for
Howard University and a primarily black gifted and talented high school
Ta-Nehisi briefly attended. These serve
to narrate his growing intellectual strength and independence, but also make a
case for how poorly served blacks have been by ordinary, supposedly integrated,
public schools. It is clear that much of
his education comes from his father – a dedicated, self-educated scholar of
African and African American history and culture.
This is not a full-length autobiography. Coates was only 33 when he wrote it. It covers his teen years – opening with a
frightening gang incident when Ta-Nehisi was 12 and closing as he enters Howard
six years later. It shows off his
intimate and encyclopedic knowledge of pop-culture, hip-hop in particular and
probably will have a valuable air of nostalgia for a reader younger than
me. Even here, Coates touches the
universal because I was able to insert songs and movies from my own era where I
did not recognize his references.
I did not grow up in the world Coates is describing here,
and I am certain that much of this went over my head. But I found myself wishing I had read it at
12 myself – to prepare for the gauntlet that is male adolescence - and reread it when each of my boys was
12. There is much valuable wisdom here
about what we do to boys in the name of manhood.
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